Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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