he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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