ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
