she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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