She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
