Im at strip club and am horny
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
