I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
