I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
