Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
