Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
