oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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