Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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