Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
