Porn is love you can see.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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