I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
