I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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