i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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