I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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