she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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