Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
