Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
