no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
