I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
