Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we're making bets on your personal life
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
