Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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