He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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