I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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