I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
