do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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