We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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