We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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