Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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