You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
