Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
