I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
