I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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