youre lurking in front of me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
