ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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