i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need a hoe opinion
go on
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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