I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so let's talk penis.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
