you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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