She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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