her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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