Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i love accidental penises.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
