what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
