Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
