I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
