i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
