mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
