I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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