My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
