hotel room ftw
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
