Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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