HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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