dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
